Alive yet vacant

Frightening Experience

For twenty seven years I’ve always sought the Way. Well, this morning we passed like strangers on the road.
- Kokuin (10th century)

I think that we all scare our self once in a while, either on an amusement park ride, a friend jumping around a corner, children injuring them self or a strange noise I a quiet place. I was in the process of getting ready to leave the house, in gathering my personal items I could not find my wallet that contained my driver's license ect wondering where I placed it. I despise dragging along a huge purse or even a small one, why should I carry something when I can just as easily slip something small into my pocket and go on my way. The more I scurried around and not being able to find it the more frantic I became. I had a friend who has his I.D. stolen and the hassle he had in obtaining the replacements. You need one piece to get the other and one can never recall all what was in it. I usually keep it in the same place. So after driving all over town trying to track it down, replacing bank cards, library card I went home and sat down trying to calm my self down. I took my time and slowly searched this time and yeah I found it, that was a piece of mind. Knowing that I would not have to struggle in replacing my other personal identification cards that were possibly lost. So to be safe I took out all the non essential stuff and photocopied them all. For the contact numbers are usualy on the back and one can never remember all the numbers. So a note to all be safe and remove all non essential I.D. Leave the s.i.n. card, birth certificate and what ever else at home in a safe place along with a photocopy of them. For you need a valid piece of I.D. To get your driver's license and that is usually your birth certificate and you need the other to get the other. I think it would be easier to get a false I.D.

Stammering

Over the ages you have followed objects, never once turning back to look within. Time slips away; months and years are wasted.
- Kuei-Shan (771-854)

  All my life I have stammered/stuttered and as a young child that was a hindrance for me in making friends. Another thing that made me stand out from the others which at that time I did not want to happen. I went to a speech therapist and with her assistance I learned a few techniques to reduce my stammering. I do not recall how long I went to her, though with her I started to understand in which situations I stuttered more, when I was nervous, scared, anxious. I can remember many times when I was so stubborn to get a word out even though I was stammering on it I would stammer more. The more I tried the more I was hung up on it. So I learned some coping mechanisms, I started to speak really quickly, if I felt a word starting to be stuck I would quickly try and find a different word or I would just pause and let my brain catch up. At times some people will fill in the stuck work, I do find that annoying at times yet I never comment upon it. So by doing that my vocabulary has increased a great extent. I read a lot and that has helped and the people I associate with. I must admit that I do find that a lot of younger people's English comprehension is quite poor. So I do find myself giving definitions to words a lot of times. Sorta hard to describe what I mean by a word being stuck. I can feel my tongue not going in the right position, lips not forming correctly, just the preamble to the word being spoken. All those little things that go into making a sound for a word. A person is amazed at how much coordination it takes to form a word. I rarely stammer these days though when I do I can modify my speech pattern to eliminate the stammer. I have seen many programs on television showing different people with their stammering problems and how they over came it or reduced it to a great extent. Some have gone to operations to install devices in their ear to over ride the brain's quirk. There is no great understanding of how or why people stammer. The tricks that I use are effective for me and allow me to function quite well though I do get caught up in a situation once in a while. In most sererios I am not hemisphere dominate so that could be a reason why I stammer though not a complete answer. Although 95 per cent of right-handed people have left-hemisphere language function, only 18.80 per cent of left-handed people have right-hemisphere language function. Additionally, 19.80 percent of the left-handed have bilateral language functions. It must be noted that — while functions are lateralized — the lateralizations are functional trends, and are not applicable in every case. Short of having undergone a hemispherectomy (removal of a cerebral hemisphere) there are no "left-brain only" or "right-brain only" people.
Brain function laterization is evident in the phenomena of being right-handed or left-handedness, of right-ear or left-ear preference, and right-eye or left-eye preference, but a persons preferred hand is not a clear indication of the location of the brain function.
  I have worked hard in my life to over come many obstacles as most people have this is just one of them that I have dome so successfully. As I see mountains before me ready to be ascended each presenting unique challenges to me to over come and a chance to grow as a person

Accomplishment

Time well spent

 Old friends, we have sought out a place to meet, now we chat by the window until the candles burn out. Talking and laughing together, our faces are happy and our hearts serene. This friendship is as pure as water; we jot down our poems with strong brushwork.

- Monchu (1739-1829)

 My time with my friend from England, Adrian went quite well, with their busy schedule time allotted to me was limited though I did make the best of it. Learned a lot about what has occurred in their life since returning to the U.K. I was some what frustrated at the time delay in response or none to my e-mails, now I have a greater understanding of the responsibilities that have been heaped upon their lap. Taking care of their partner who is bed ridden due to a sever vehicle incident while on a bicycle, a mom who had a heart attack and family issues there. Thus the trip was more of a reprieve and a respite from all the responsibilities. Placing things in order and creating priorities. With all that said it was an enjoyable time and has set the pace for the future. Now I guess it is m turn to go over their.
 Have been bicycling more these days despite the snow. Lost some weight according to the scale though I do not know where. Spent some wonderful time with some other friends working on a few projects, sharing a few drinks, music, food and good times. What could one ask for from friends who share the same passions. Went to a contest and won a prise with my entry, was a tad disappointed with the number of entries. Though I look at it this way I took the time and effort to enter and the did not and if there was only a few other participants in my category so be it.
 I must say that this year there has been a lot more snow and I actually dragged the blower out, earned it's keep. My father has on a weekly basis been acting out, temper tantrums. The staff there are either too busy to properly deal with the situation and go for the easy out clause and sedate him. I usually talked his through his situation and usually that worked. I am not too sure which is the case been disappointed with them previously.
Looking forward to the coming of spring, March is almost here and so is the equinox.